Saturday, February 19, 2011

Low-Carb Humor

Here is some of the Low Carb Humor out there on the internet
Cartoon from offthemarkcartoons.com by Mark Parisi

A must see  low-carb cartoon collection from shinyhappyhead.com


Bread has been proven to absorb water. Since the human body is more than 90 percent water, it follows that eating bread could lead to your body being taken over by this absorptive food product, turning you into a soggy, gooey bread-pudding person.


(A well-dressed woman and her teenage daughter are out to lunch at one of my tables. I have already brought them their drinks.)
Customer: *waving me over* “Miss! I asked for a diet soda.”
Me: “Oh, I’m so sorry. I must have picked up another server’s order by mistake. Let me get you a new one.”
(I fill a diet soda myself and deliver it. Before even tasting it, she speaks up.)
Customer: “No! This isn’t diet soda! I’m on a very strict diet and I can’t have carbs!”
Me: “I filled it myself. I assure you that it is diet.”
Customer: *poking the drink with a straw* “Then what are these? I can see the carbs everywhere!”
Me: “You can see the carbs, Ma’am?”
Customer: “Yes! Are you blind? Can’t you see the bubbles?”
Customer’s teenage daughter: “Oh my God, mom! ‘Carbs’ mean carbohydrates, not carbonation!”



Low Carb Humor Gifts

Now try Comedy Central's Nick DiPaolo - Food Poisoning 

Nick DiPaolo - Obese People


On my Low-Carb booklist




Here is Jan McCrackens, and her For Dummies publisher's, own extensive description of "Healthy Carb Cookbook for Dummies":

 
"According to USA Weekend, over a quarter of the adults in the U.S. have tried a low-carb diet. Many people have enjoyed lasting success. Others have felt mystified or deprived and given up!
Whether you’re a first-timer or a “try, try-againer”, this book helps you get with the low-carb program and stick with it! Building on the success of Low-Carb Dieting For Dummies, it gives you loads of nutritional information plus more than 100 sumptuous low-carb recipes like Crunchy Brunch Oatmeal Pecan Waffles, Caribbean Chicken, Chile Spiced Broccoli, and Lemon Torte with Raspberries. Low-Carb Cookbook For Dummies includes:
  • A complete nutritional analysis for each recipe so you can’t go wrong
  • Lots of recipes for dishes with 5 carbs or less
  • Recipes that de-carb no-nos like Southern fried chicken and Philly cheese steak sandwiches
  • Recipes for soups, seafood, and meat dishes, including pork chops, lamb and steaks (with a steak chart so you can chart a low-carb course)
  • Recipes for great desserts, including chocolate specialties and cheesecake
  • Vegetarian recipes and crock pot specialties
  • Terrific wrap recipes using lettuce, tortillas, or crepes
  • Guidelines for eating low-carb when you’re dining out or brown-bagging it
Author Jan McCracken, a health advocate and low-carber for more than ten years, has written two low-carb cookbooks and is a contributor to numerous low-carb publications. Having fallen off the low-carb wagon several times herself, she alerts you to things that can sabotage your success and clues you in on carb counting and techniques that have worked for her. You’ll get started right with:
  • Mini-courses on low-carb math and on low-carb nutritition and the glycemic index
  • A shopping list for stocking a low-carb kitchen
  • The scoop on different kinds of carbs and artificial sweeteners
  • Tips on using spices creatively for variety and flavor
  • Advice on incorporating exercise, including taking the first step (and lots more steps) with a pedometer
  • Tips for reducing stress (a common cause of bingeing)
With this information, you won’t be mystified. With the fantastic recipes, you won’t feel deprived. You will be inspired to stick to a low-carb lifestyle—one that can help you lose weight and feel healthier!"

Half Ton Man, a thought provoking story

Patrick Deuel, and his fascinating sub-plot 'enabler' wife, are a story you may want to absorb into your body as you evaluate your own relationship to food. The film Half Ton Man has an equally thoughtful follow-up msnbc.com Fitness article online titled 
Half-ton man loses 573 pounds in one year

'I look a little more like a human being'


Eat Meat or Not? Which is best for me or you?

Within the website Acu-cell, in their Vegetarianism section, is a helpful comparison titled 
"Nutritional pros and cons of Meat-based and Vegetarian Diets". A recommended read!


Alden Smith's opinion is available at DoItYourself.com
A simple but fair appraisal, stressing nutrition.


 Pros And Cons Of Vegetarianism
in list form... Clear and helpful for reflection, a quick read.


With very few exceptions, the issue of 'meat verses no-meat' on the web is dominated by Vegetarians, Vegans, and Raw-Vegans. The USA, which is historically a meat loving culture, is comparable to Japan in its cultural assumption of fish and fish bi-products. True vegetarians are a radical minority with few commercial consumables, in most of middle America, and in Japan where I live.


The most advertised source of Low-carb products on the internet, Netrition.com, is a US based company out of Albany New York. They cover a wide diversity of dietary disciplines, along with products that supplement muscle-building nutritionalists. The site provides full disclosure of all ingredients for their many products, so consumers have a fighting chance at knowing what to expect before ordering. This would seem a prerequisite, yet there are many on-line sellers, particularly in the legal-gray area of 'supplementation and nutrition,' which provide superlatives but few actual facts. 
As an international consumer, shipping costs can be somewhat discouraging, as are the sacrifices needed to give products a shelf-life. All schools of nutritional radicalism, from Raw-Veganism to Paleo-Primal, encourage buying local, fresh produce... label-less real food.

Steak...Why not the best...

Mark Schatzker, a Canadian food critic with a passion for quality steak, has a book appropriately named Steak. He is the go-to guy in the greater realm of bloody oral gratification. If you are going on a low-carb carnivore life-style, why not learn where and how to find the most orgiastic experience!